Here is why man can no longer be surprised

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No more going from point A to point B without calculating the route, buying a disc without listening to all the excerpts, going to the cinema without seeing the trailer… chewing up the work: just scan a program . for the video to start. And it’s not about going to the restaurant without dissecting the menu and the opinions. Even a romantic date cannot be improvised, dating sites only offer “compatible profiles”. It seems that our everyday life is more and more marked, even formatted, without unpleasant surprises. And the good ones, then?, also discover: For or against air conditioning? Here are the pros and cons Reluctant to setbacks To be pleasantly surprised, you have to start by accepting unpleasant incidents. But, too used to predicting everything, we would be more and more resistant to the effects of surprise… In reality, man has always sought to know the future, yesterday through the divination arts, today with surveys and intelligence artificial intelligence… “In the world of work and health in particular, we have tried to protect ourselves as much as possible from fortuitous situations that escape all control”, observes Philippe Gabilliet*, author of Eloge de l’inattendu (SaintSimon ) Then expressions entered our lives: “precautionary principle”, “all-risk insurance”, “project management”… “We evolved as if, in life, the essential was true, forgetting that our normal state, on the contrary, is uncertainty. “says the philosopher Charles Pépin. Philippe Gabilliet agrees: “Any setback, such as a traffic jam, the cancellation of an appointment, bad weather… of our planning system, as if we had not cursed ourselves to anticipate the coup d’état.”, he explains. . And the Covid-19 arrived, taking on the task of painfully reminding us of our inability to foresee everything… Holidays in “airbag mode” also points out Jean Viard**, sociologist, for whom this “narrative of the world”, as he says. , is not entirely new. “It exploded with the novel and the travel guide in the romantic era, when man began to think about his smallness in front of the infinity of the world “, he points out. What traveler would then have ventured to Rome, Naples or Florence without having read Stendhal? With words, everyone knows that they can discover a place or an atmosphere different from what they had imagined. Today, it is the image that it gets to stage reality and magnify it. Nathalie, 30 years old, never takes a trip “without an airbag”, that is to say, without having seen the places you will visit and about which you have a precise idea. But paradoxically, for those who want to plan everything, sometimes they reserve… bad surprises. “I am very often disappointed, after seeing some magnificent photos on Instagram or Pinterest, to find at the moment, at best only an impression of ‘déjà vu’, at worst the feeling of having had”, he laments -tals . Nathalie recognizes this: “I want to know in advance where I will go, what I will eat, what memories I will take with me…” To be surprised, you should deprogram yourself. Danger as normal and what happens according to forecasts is exceptional. Chantal, 62 years old, has been applying this philosophy for some time: “I never draw plans on the kite. I prefer to adapt on a case-by-case basis. A state of mind that would be typical of optimists, according to Philippe Gabilliet: to be brave against bad luck. Accepting being baffled by life, even when it mistreats us, would be the best way to make beautiful discoveries, including about ourselves. “For example, the confinements have brought us their share of good surprises, recalls Jean Viard. A wave of solidarity, the return to a healthier life, changes that save lives…” To be surprised is also to accept “the shock that causes this emotion, that is, an awareness, a rebound of the spirit”, adds Philippe Gabilliet. . Giving way to despondency or joy, surprise questions us about our true desires and gets us going again.” You can learn to improvise, 45-year-old Claire testifies: a chef from the Faroe Islands, followed by a “regional” concert. Beard! I dragged my feet there, I would have preferred to watch my favorite series… And there, it was amazing. I was literally carried away by the voice of Eivor Palsdottir, a Faroese singer. It was love at first sight for Claire, who had to re-examine her prejudices, but “good surprises” just happen when you least expect it? Not necessarily. For Philippe Gabilliet, you have to learn to improvise again. “We all have a comfort zone, affectionate, kind, professional, which can, at some point, question us. “I’m losing something else?” This is a sign to open the door to the unexpected, despite pressure from those around you (“You have everything to be happy, why do you want to change jobs/move somewhere else?”) .No one can know when the unexpected will knock on their door, but at least we can have set the table and prepared the place… This is the philosophy of the guest room! “And it starts with very small steps: saying yes more than no to an unusual request, leaving the house one afternoon with your nose in the wind… Reversing your way of thinking. “Instead of saying ‘I’m not going to this party because I don’t know anyone there’, we reformulate: ‘If there really is a reason why I have to go to this party, it’s because I don’t know anyone there.’ !” advises Philippe Gabilliet. As long as, of course, you remain open to all the surprises in an increasingly predictable world… Leaving the road… Romain, 32, recounts the day when, in the car on a country road, he he ran out of mobile. of steam, of breath deprived him of the GPS without which he was going nowhere. “Fortunately, I had a road map,” he says. I was furious that I had gotten lost, and of course I didn’t take the shortest path, but a small path that took me to a celebrating village. I stopped for lunch… in a divine place, by a river. The people were lovely and welcoming, and I decided to spend the day there to meet this girl who smiles at me… and with whom I have been sharing my life for a year! This incident was a revelation, the surprise of my existence! Today I try to accept going off the road with the dangers that come with it. »* Professor of psychology and foresight at the ESCP Business School.** CNRS research director and author of France as I know it, L’Aube.
#man #longer #surprised

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