Caroline Goldman steps up to the plate of positive education


Caroline Goldman, PhD in child psychology and author of several works, defends a vertical education. InterEditions Here we are. “Where’s my backpack?” “I like Mielpops better in the morning” “Mom, my stomach hurts” “What if I’m not in Clara’s class?” “Do you think my teacher will be nice?” » «I don’t want this dress, it’s shit» «Daddy, I lost my mobile!» «I still want to sleep», «One last hug please…» Yes, the children are finally out of our legs to find the way back to school, the perfect time to orient ourselves or review our fundamentals.Educational models evolve, expert advice multiplies in literature, social networks, blogs, conversations. We all come out a little more lost: “don’t be too strict” or “you need to tighten the screws” “nothing better than a good old fashioned clown” To the poor parents lost in the middle of this magma of smoke. theories, a woman emerges, a child and youth psychologist, a doctor in psychopathology, who has been consulting in her practice in Paris for 20 years. Caroline Goldman – yes, yes, she is the daughter of Jean-Jacques, but that is not the point here-, based on her experience as a clinic and, incidentally, as a mother, since she has four children, she offers some keys to see it more clearly. On the occasion of the start of the school year, parents question their educational principles. Too permissive, too severe, is there a middle ground? Guilt is inherent in parenthood and no parent escapes it. Faced with this principle of reality that generates a form of concern, more and more media gurus are advancing a theory that is currently very fashionable: positive or benevolent education, whose main idea revolves around around this phrase “is prohibited”. to “ban”. As if to frustrate a child is to traumatize him. It is quite the opposite, because in order to traumatize a child, he must suffer an emotional shock, in a family environment that does not support him and that does not know how to put words to this shock. Educating a child is walking with them through paradise, carrying a fire extinguisher on your shoulder. Why do you call these “education specialists” gurus? Most of the people I denounce are well established in social networks, do not have the necessary training and call themselves “specialists”. These are parents like “Papapositiu”, or Fanny Vella in particular, who have no qualification in child psychiatry. They have interpreted the research data, adapting it according to their judgment, their fantasies and sailing on the guilt of the parents to sell methods that can be devastating for the child. What are the risks, if any? By handcuffing the authority of parents, we are faced with children who have become tyrants, totally inadequate, since the word of adults is denied. At school they are unmanageable, they reproduce their tyranny since no one has forbidden them to break the little sister’s toys, throw peas at her head, shout to claim a toy in the supermarket. They are unbearable and suffer from their own savagery, because they are rejected. The suffering of today’s teachers is linked to this principle of positive education, they are denied authority and the irreverence of children is passed on by the parents who support them. These children were loved, seduced, and given no boundaries, legitimately abused their younger sister, and are now caught in a socio-relational trap. Do you see in your office the stigmas of this benevolent education, on children, teenagers? enormously These children were loved, seduced, and given no boundaries, legitimately abused their little sister, and are now caught in a socio-relational trap that represents a tragedy for them, sometimes greater than the children they have experienced real emotional deficiencies. Because ? They experience rejection all the time, have a strong intellectual structure and a great awareness of losing their lives. What do you propose instead of this pedagogy of resignation? Start early, around one year, when the child throws things, throws food on the floor, screams and cuts adults… Without getting angry, we say no, say why, and take the child to his room . The child quickly integrates the limits, and from the age of 2 or 3 he is calm, he knows that one does not bite his younger brother for example, that he lets the adults talk to each other… It is by experiencing frustration that the rules will fit. Educating a child is walking in paradise with them, carrying a fire extinguisher on your shoulder Long live extracurricular activities! How to set the famous limits? It is important at certain key moments to break with our emotional empathy with our children. Let me tell you: when a child needs to be vaccinated and we ask us to exempt him, we do not give in. Faced with certain situations, our hearts must cool down for the sake of the child in the long run. This breakdown of empathy is necessary in everyday life, for the future of the child, parents must resist crocodile tears. Back to school is also the period when children are enrolled in extracurricular activities, with this question: too much or not enough? never too much Childhood is the time of learning, I am passionate about extracurricular activities, it is about enriching experiences for children. It is better to multiply the activities than to stay passively at home, children have a lot of time to be bored during the school holidays. Activities, music, sports, drawing, dance give them new skills, socialization different from school and an additional opportunity for gratification. Great for self-esteem. At what age can you give in to the pressure of the mobile phone? And should we give in anyway? Demonizing screens is useless because the relationship the child has with the screen is revealing of what he lives. It is clear that excessive phone use and social media addiction only cause symptoms when the child or teen is in a bad state. I think a 6th grade laptop is good and makes the kid happy, more independent. But before trusting it, the dangers must be explained.
#Caroline #Goldman #steps #plate #positive #education


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here